


How to be Single

by dyoungsangel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: HowToBeSingle!au, JohnDo, Kim Brothers for life, M/M, Mommy Doyoung, Mpreg, Smut, later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:19:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10191854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyoungsangel/pseuds/dyoungsangel
Summary: He had this long and warm scarf his brother gave to him on his birthday three years ago and wrapped it around his neck. It was winter already, the beginning of December and light snow was falling. It had always been his favorite time of the year. The reason wasn’t Christmas but the weather because it calmed him down when other things couldn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pikwanchu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikwanchu/gifts), [monsterous94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterous94/gifts).



A sigh escaped his lips. It was a super long work day, again but there was no way for Doyoung to complain about it. He decided to do all these shifts himself. For the last 4 days he slept about 6 hours in total. It was a wonder that he was still able to stand without wobbling or feeling sick. The senior doctor of his part of the hospital sent him home for today because even though he didn’t feel sick, he looked ‘super pale and the bags under his eyes were dark and scary’.

Kim Dongyoung is 29 years old, works as a midwife in a big hospital in the center of Seoul and single since 12 years. He lives alone in a big apartment three subway stations away from his workplace so he could go to work real fast whenever there was an emergency. He didn’t depend on anyone but his 31 year old brother Donghyun who came to visit every other day to tell him about his miserable life situation since he broke up with that cute girl he lived with all his college life.

After 15 minutes of standing in that crowded subway he finally made it home, put his keys onto the little shelf right next to his entrance and kicked the door shut. His tired legs brought him into the kitchen right in front of the fridge. He only drank a glass of water and then went straight to bed since he wouldn’t be able to do anything more than that. There was no alarm that woke him up the next day because he wouldn’t have to go to work until 4pm. The reason why he couldn’t sleep any further was his brother who must have sneaked into the house again.  
“What are you doing here again? You didn’t even say you would come over.”, he struggled with opening his eyes while the sun was happily shining right into his face.  
  
“I wanted to ask you if I could stay here for a while. I don’t exactly know where to go to right now and your flat is so big, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem. I can clean while you’re at work!”, he was looking at him with pleading eyes. Dongyoung knew his brother never asked for anything if there wasn’t a way to avoid it but this time he seemed to be at a loss.  
  
“Okay. But please don’t clean too much.”, he gave in and pressed one of his tinier pillows on his face, “Now let me sleep a little more!”

A few hours later he was at work again.  
Today he had to do a check up on a mother and her daughter nine months after she was born. It was an easy task to do because he did it so many times already, so it went by faster than he thought it would.  
  
“I’m sorry, I really have to go to the toilet right now. Can you hold her for a while?”, she already put the baby in his arms and almost ran out of the room. He could understand that it was difficult after giving birth but now he had to take care of that baby.  
  
“Listen. This won’t be a hard thing to do because you are a nice baby and you won’t cry. Do you understand?”, his words came out softer than he thought they would, almost melodious. He read in books that it helped to calm babies down when they were brought into new situations.  
He let it sit on the chair her mother sat in before and still held it. She wasn’t stable enough to do it alone, yet.

And then she smiled. It was only for a few seconds at first.

“You know, your mom would probably say you just smiled but I’m a doctor. I know that it was just a refle-..”, his little explanation was interrupted because now the little girl was smiling again. This time it was a little longer, even brighter than before.

“Stop this, you won’t win me over. I am not so into babies, you know?”, he continued and then he found himself intensely staring into the girls chocolate brown eyes.

She looked directly into his and not one of the two was able to look away for a while. Something in Dongyoungs heart rumbled, he could clearly feel how it was starting to pump the blood through his body a little faster than before. Her tiny fingers were now wrapped around his index finger and the other was tearing the paper towel apart she was sitting on. Slowly moving the hand to her mouth he slipped the paper out of it.

“Why do you always want to put everything in your mouth? It doesn’t even taste good. And there are lots of bacteria on it. There are good ones and bad ones out there..”, he wanted to explain but was stopped again when her head snapped up a little, now looking into his eyes again.

She smiled again and this time Dongyoung knew he was defeated.

“Okay, you won..”, was all he said and a slight pout was forming on his lips.

After he gave the daughter back to her mother he leaned against the wall. The door of the room was closed and a frustrated sigh escaped his lips.

He had never been alone with a little kid before, especially not the way it had been like a few minutes ago. Slowly sliding down the wall his eyes closed a little more with every inch he sank down. These few minutes changed something inside of him but he just couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it did to him. His heart was still pumping in an incredible speed.

Honestly, when he thought about it a little more, he realized it probably wouldn’t be bad to have someone in his life. He had been alone for far too long already and it wasn’t his will to die alone. So why not have a baby? He was financially stable, there wouldn’t even occur a problem even if he took two years off or if he would cut off some hours and work only half the day. He bet his colleagues would be happy if he wasn’t so alone anymore as well. But if he decided to become a dad then he would want to go through the whole process of being pregnant.  
It was possible, even if he had no significant other to sleep with.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

When his shift ended and he was home again, he sat on his laptop to do some research on artificial insemination.  
Many people were against it but a lot of families also wrote that it helped them to finally found the family they had always wanted. Of course you couldn’t influence on what gender the baby would have but Dongyoung honestly didn’t care about that. He wanted to have a healthy kid, no matter what it was.

After a while he found a page that was filled with different profiles of people who would donate their semen. It was official and seemed really trustworthy. You could even meet up with some of them to find out more about them, to see what your baby could possibly become. He didn’t want that, though. Also, you can’t force anyone to pay for their kid later on. It’s part of the contract you have to sign in order to do this.  
Dongyoung searched through that page for a while until he heard that someone tried to put the keys into his front door but wasn’t really able to do it. It took about a minute until he heard a quiet clicking sound, meaning that he finally made it.  
Of course it was his brother, but he looked wasted and super tired. For a while he just watched how Donghyun tried to get out of his shirt after lying down on the sofa.

“Hey, there.”, he eventually said and smiled from behind his laptop on his working desk. His brother probably would have had a heart attack if he wasn’t too out of it to react properly.

“Heyyy.”, he immediately stopped taking off his clothes and looked at Dongyoung.

“Hyung, we’re becoming pregnant!”, he just shouted it, maybe a little too loud and smiled really bright while jumping over to the sofa. There wouldn’t have been any right words in his mind to explain it calmly anyways and after all the research he did he was really happy and excited to do this.

“Wait.. you’re pregnant?”, he looked him up and down and arched one of his eyebrows.

“No. Well… not yet! But this is going to be the father!”, showing him a profile of a man, Dongyoung practically beamed with positive energy.

“You’re going to sleep with a total stranger just to become pregnant??”, his brother exclaimed and somehow he seemed kind of furious at the statement.

“No, of course not. I’m going to go through an artificial insemination. I’m not insane.”, a pout was on his lips now. Couldn’t his brother just be happy about this as much as he was?

But after he explained him how it would work and that it could be done at the hospital he worked at, Donghyun seemed less worried, relaxed even. When he smiled at him afterwards it was almost as if he was proud of his little one.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

It wasn’t until a few weeks after that talk he had with his brother when he had the artificial insemination. He didn’t let it do anyone who he worked with because he thought it would be kind of awkward afterwards.

Everything went fine and it was two days afterwards when he sat in his working room, looking at his brother who was shaking the pregnancy test like his life depended on it.

“You know these things never work at the first try. Some need several ones to get pregnant for real. It probably didn’t work out.”, Dongyoung said and walked in little circles restlessly. He might have said all these things and yes, they were true but deep inside he hoped that everything went just fine.

The little alarm Donghyun had set suddenly rang and he almost let the test fall to the ground out of shock. But then he looked at the important part of it and shook his head.  
A disappointed sigh escaped Dongyoung’s lips but he tried to put on a smile.

“I told you, it never really works out at the first try.”, then he pulled the older into his arms.

When he had the security that he couldn’t be seen, some tears made their way down his cheeks. He swallowed the sob that wanted to escape, though. His brother shouldn’t see how hard it actually hit him.

“I will just redo the process in a few days. It will be fine.”

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

Dongyoung just came out of the room where they had the second try for him to become pregnant. He was even more nervous than the first time and it could be seen on his face.

“Hey, are you okay?”, his senior doctor Yuta Nakamoto asked, his face had a worried expression. Dongyoung nodded weakly but he didn’t even try to smile, even though he wanted to.

”Yeah. I just had the second try of my artificial insemination. It just made me a little... nervous, I guess?”

Yuta just nodded, “I see. Maybe you should go home for tonight. We got Hansol as an extra here if we even need one, so go home and rest. Tomorrow, too. I don’t want to see you, you hear me, Kim Dongyoung?” The doctor just smiled and patted his shoulder softly. Then he turned around and walked away.

So, just as his ‘boss’ had ordered, he packed his things and went home.  
This time he walked. He had this long and warm scarf his brother gave to him on his birthday three years ago and wrapped it around his neck. It was winter already, the beginning of December and light snow was falling. It had always been his favorite time of the year. The reason wasn’t Christmas but the weather because it calmed him down when other things couldn’t.

He walked slowly, enjoying this after not taking that way for so long. He never had time to really do something he loved except of working but the stress made him think less about his life. When no one was there with him on the sidewalk he turned around and looked at the steps he had made while walking through the snow. It reminded him of the days he spent with his brother, playing in wide white fields.  
The nostalgic feelings ran over him at that moment but at least for a while, until he reached home, he wouldn’t care less.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

It was a nice afternoon. The snow was slowly falling onto the small sidewalks and long streets outside of his window while he was lying on his bed.  
His brother and a friend of his where right next to him, waiting for the result of the second pregnancy test. This time they were even more nervous than the first time so, just for fun, Donghyun and the friend took one, too.

Waiting for the alarm to go off felt like an eternity.  
But as it did, Dongyoung couldn’t believe that there were, indeed, two stripes on the display.

“It’s positive. I’m.. I am pregnant.”, he said, almost as if he was in a trance, still not able to realize it.“We’re pregnant!!”, Donghyun screamed excitedly and jumped on his little brother.

Hugging him tight to his chest he looked to his friend. His smile was a little weird somehow.

“Mine is positive as well!!”, a loud laugh came out of his mouth and the two brothers could do nothing but stare at him.

“Wait, you’re pregnant?”, they arched one of their eyebrows, now a little worried about the answer.

“What? I thought we were doing a drug test..”, his voice was quiet in the end and he looked a little smaller than before.

Dongyoung looked at his brother, asking himself what he and that friend exactly had in common.

They soon forgot about that dumb question and just lazed around the apartment. Big mugs filled with hot chocolate were in their hands and a silly Disney-movie was playing in the background. A nice way to celebrate the new life that will be created over the next few months.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

Two weeks later, Donghyuns company held a christmas party, three weeks before the actual event. Dongyoung wore simple clothes, black skinny jeans and a black dress shirt, nothing too exciting. He was standing at one of these tiny but high tables, stuffing one mini burger after another into his mouth. He was so hungry and nothing could really fill his stomach.

Four hours of just standing around and watching adults play silly drinking games, he was still there, a glass of water in his hand. No one talked to him until his brother showed up, asking how he was doing.

“How many mini burger do you need to have a big one?”, was the only thing he answered.

“What?.. You’re crazy.”

“Don’t call me crazy. You mustn’t ever call a pregnant person crazy. Never. Really not even once. How many mini burger do you need to have a burger burger?”

“Four.”

“... I ate seven.”

Donghyuns answer came out in a stutter, you could see he became nervous with the way his brother acted:”E..Eight?”

“What’s it now? Four or eight?”

“It’s eight! Or more than eight! Everyone knows that!”

“Who told you that?”

“The person that’s handing them out”, the older brother tried everything to stay calm and collected to not make the pregnant one mad. That definitely wouldn’t end well.

For a few seconds they only stared at each other, Dongyoung not responding to his last sentence. “Blink a little so I know that you’re still in there.”

With a quiet ‘sorry’ the younger put down the piece of burger that he wanted to eat before his brother came to him and pouted for a few seconds.

“Dongyoung, don’t be too obvious but I think our new paralegal is looking at you from over **there**.”, leaning his head a little sideways and showing the direction with his eyes.

“What? Where?”, while trying not to be too direct he only turned his head a little, leaning his body forward.

”Did you see him?”

“No.”

“Okay, so he is right over **there**. He’s got wide shoulders, hair a little over his ears. It’s a light hazel brown. At the front desk.”, it was only a low whisper and he tried to be as casual as he could.

“Oh, no. No, no. Donghyun, he looks way too.. too much. People like him only want sex. The only thing I need are juicy 10 minutes and then I want to go to sleep. Nothing more.. How old is he anyways?”

“He’s only a year older than you.”

“The only reason a person like him would talk to me is because he would want a prescription for marijuana. No.”

“Oh.. Oh.. he’s coming over. Eyes on the buffet. Don’t look his way.”, Donghyun wanted to add more but the person they were talking about already arrived at the scene.

“Hey. I saw you looking at me and I thought I should come over.”, they voice they heard was deep but you could hear he was making it even deeper than it originally should be.

“Uhm..”, the two brothers were just looking at each other.

“Oh my god. Did I misunderstand it? Didn’t you want.. didn’t you.. You didn’t want that I should come here?”, the obviously tall man said looked down, right into Dongyoungs eyes. It seemed like he was nervous, a little unsure of what he should think about that matter.

Donghyun was just laughing, too embarrassed to stay, so he slowly moved backwards. He escaped easily.

“Hi. I’m Johnny. You must be Donghyuns brother.”, they shook hands while moving around so they were both leaning against the desk but looking at each other, “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No.”, it was an immediate response, “I already drank a lot earlier.. Uff..” Dongyoung was definitely saturated with the way he was rubbing circles over his tummy.

“Do you know where the real party is? Or.. another part of this part? It only feels like a long day at work right now. Oh my god, am I boring? Are you trying not to yawn?”, Johnny asked and he didn’t stop speaking for a second.

The pregnant man tried to hold it in but it must have been quite obvious.

“Are you always making a face like that?”, was the only thing the taller said.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m a doctor and I’m just really tired. What did you say you are doing exactly?”, he wanted to show that he is, indeed, interested in the other one.

“I.. didn’t say anything but I’m working here.”, his face looked confused but he was still smiling brightly, it didn’t seem fake, “Oh my god, do you have a stroke? For real? We’re only at our honeymoon, we know each other for 30 seconds. If we can’t do that I don’t think we could do it at all. So I suggest you’re just.. letting it out. Come one.”

He was talking a lot again but it seemed to be okay for the both of them. It made Dongyoung feel more at ease so he was able to just.. yawn. He stretched his thin and kind of fragile body while tilting his head back. And, honestly, it was refreshing and nice. He felt a little lighter now, a tiny bit more awake.

“That was nice, wasn’t it?”, Johnny asked, a little to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing but the smaller one just high fived him and smiled.

Dongyoung looked at him, blinking innocently: “Who are you again?”

“Uhm.. eh.. Johnny.”

“And how’s that supposed to turn out?”, he was pointing at himself and the taller one, “Is this some kind of kink? A foot fetish? Am I the foot?”

“Would you.. like to be the foot? I don’t really like feet but I would love to see you again.”, while talking Johnny leaned forward, his expression screamed that he didn’t really know what was going on.

“Oh.. why?”

“What.. You don’t want to go out with me?”

“No, I want to. That sounded wrong. I was just asking myself why you would want to do that.”

“Because I think you’re sexy and you’re really funny. And I like your face when you’re trying not to yawn. And your yawn was a nice plus, so.. this is what I like in men. I don’t know.”, Johnny tried to explain to him in an understandable way even though you could see he was a little flustered, “Well, cheers.”

While trying to look strong and manly he took the candle that was in the middle of his table instead of his glass and arched it already: “Oh fuck. Fuck. That’s a candle.” He had never set down a candle faster in his life.

“So, are we just.. going to do that? Yeah?”, Dongyoung wanted to make sure this was going to happen and you could see a little hope glistening in his eyes.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It took me a little longer to finish this because I had a writers block but here you are.

The door met the wall behind it as soon as Johnny pushed it open. He wasn’t really careful when the smaller of the two finally opened it for them.

 

Dongyoung could already feel Johnnys big arms around him. He pressed him against his chest while his lips wandered over the soft skin of the youngers neck. His kisses were soft and slow, almost as if he was afraid he’d break him if he did it harder but Dongyoung felt like they were burning into his skin.

 

Every place that Johnny touched or wherever his breath landed was like it had been set on fire. It was this tingling sensation he had always craved for, secretly, but it wasn’t necessary for him since he never got a taste of it. Now he wasn’t sure anymore if he ever wanted to miss it again.

 

As soon as the door was closed again and they stumbled over some shoes that were in the entrance, Johnny pushed him into the room that was the first to come, the kitchen. Dongyoungs body was pressed against the edge of the counter until he had enough and jumped on it.

 

Finally the taller released his neck and started to open the black dress shirt that was in front of him now. He might have ripped a few of the buttons off but no one really cared at that moment. Having freed that slim but well built body, he couldn’t help but stare at him.

 

“God, you’re beautiful.”, it slipped his lips before he even realized it.

 

Dongyoung flushed red under his gaze and the compliment that followed right after. Now he became active and pushed the jacket that he was still wearing from his shoulders, the dress shirt landing right next to it on the cold floor. Roaming his hands over the soft skin, the toned body that he hid so well under the layers of his clothes. They could both feel each other's breath on their lips.

 

“I definitely don’t want anything permanent”, Dongyoung whispered while he wanted to make sure this wouldn’t end in any way that he didn’t plan and waited for the little ‘Okay’ that Johnny gave to him as an answer.

 

In the dark they gazed into each other’s eyes and without a word both leaned forward to start a slow kiss. Johns lips were a little chapped but full and touched every little corner of Dongyoungs thin but smooth ones. It was the first time that they kissed and for the two of them it felt like someone freed hundreds, no, thousands of tiny butterflies in their tummies.

 

Johnny had a strong grip on the smallers waist, lifting him up so he could easily carry him to bed. In between the kisses they shared, Dongyoung told him where to go so they would end up in the right room.

 

Slightly showing off his strength, he put him down gingerly, never releasing his lips. He supported his tall and wide body on one hand next to Dongyoung’s face while he opened his pants with the other one. They could feel that they needed each other and the excitement and need grew with every second.

 

When the button was finally open, he helped him to get out of his skinny jeans. To take things a little faster he removed his briefs at the same time Johnny’s gaze was filled with lust and some kind of admiration.

 

His thick and long fingers wandered over his juicy thighs up over his chest, teasing his nipples on the way until he was hovering over the younger again. With his knees he was spreading Dongyoung’s legs, slowly and carefully grinding his clothed crotch over the naked one underneath.

 

Both were moaning at the sensation that ran through their bodies because of the friction that arose.

 

“You’re so beautiful, you have no idea.”, he whispered again, his low voice got raspier, Dongyoung could feel how much he was wanted. Also, it turned him on. He never would have thought of that.

 

The younger was getting impatient, so he opened Johnny’s Jeans in a hurry and pushed them down. Just a little though, his arms were too short to reach further and that’s why the taller one did it himself.

 

Now that they were both naked, they took a good look at each other. Johnny had seen a lot already but as he sat up, he got to see the whole picture. In front of him he looked so tiny, so fragile. He was almost afraid to touch him the way he’d love to.

 

His big, dark eyes were staring at him, a little unsure of what Johnny was doing right now but he didn’t care.

 

Raising one of these long, juicy legs, he placed a kiss on his knee, a second later he continued with more kisses downwards to his crotch.

 

Johnny himself was more of a strong built man. His shoulders were even wider than Dongyoung’s and his hands were so big, they could grab these thin hips with ease. His muscles on almost every part of his body were more pronounced than the youngers.

 

Dongyoung’s eyes followed his every move even though he wanted to close them at first. It made the kisses more intense when their gazes found each other.

 

When Johnny was low enough, he licked a stripe over the slightly erected dick in front of him. A loud moan could be heard from Dongyoung which made him smirk out of satisfaction. But he didn’t want to concentrate on that part though, no, he had other plans that he wanted to fulfill.

 

With a smirk he got even lower, spread the legs more to see that pink muscle contracting around nothing. Out of habit he licked over his lips and then moved forward, his tongue now in contact with that sensitive skin he wanted to taste so badly.

 

This feeling was something so new to Dongyoung, no one ever dared to do it. At first he was afraid, it was dirty and so intimate, why would someone want to do that who didn’t know him for longer than an hour. But now he couldn’t remember how he ever lived without this.

 

A loud groan left his lips, telling Johnny to continue. He wanted more of this, fast. That was also the reason why he lifted his hips a little, pushing them against the mouth he yearned for. But the taller one didn’t need to be told twice, pushed the small hips in front of him down and let his tongue slide into him.

 

Dongyoung didn’t know that something like this could feel so incredibly good, it robbed him all of his senses. A small ‘Johnny’ could be heard and it was clear for the both of them what it meant. So Johnny didn’t leave his sensitive muscle but let his fingers wander up over the smooth chest until they reached these sinful lips.

 

Not wasting even one second, Dongyoung’s lips closed around two of these thick fingers and his tongue followed with coating these with saliva. It was such an intense act but exactly the thing both of them wanted.

 

He moved his head for- and backwards in a slow motion, making the most of every little second of this moment. After doing that for a short while, Johnny slid his fingers out of his mouth again, loving how there was this little string of spit connecting the fingers and the lips for a second.

 

Leaning his head against Dongyoung’s right thigh, he circled the fingers around the already slick entrance before pressing both inside in one go. That action made the smaller one crying his name out loud.

 

Johnny just smirked and let his fingers rest, which made Dongyoung even more impatient. He wiggled his hips and whined: “Please..”

 

“What do you want, hm?”, Johnny breathed against his thigh, letting his lips graze the tender skin.

 

“Please.. move!”, Dongyoung sounded so desperate to get more of him.

 

Johnny fulfilled his wish and then started to move his fingers, slowly at first but soon he was literally fucking into him with them. He did that for a few minutes until he opened his fingers like a scissor, opening him up for what was soon to come.

 

It didn’t take long for Dongyoung to be loose enough to take all that Johnny would be able to give him. Johnny sat up, kneeling in front of the tiny figure who exposed himself because he wanted more, more, more.

 

Not waiting anymore because he himself grew more impatient by the second, so he spit into his palm, spreading it over his thick and hard length before lining it up with the hole that contracted around air.  

 

Slowly, not to hurt Dongyoung, he pushed inside him. To distract the younger Johnny leaned down, placing soft, lovely kisses on his thin lips. Dongyoung kissed him back, running his hands through the long hair and he desperately pulled him closer. They both wanted to feel every little inch of each others body, savoring every second they had.

 

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

 

It was about a week after that holy night. Donghyun came home from a party earlier and the two of them were sitting on the sofa, watching a movie while sharing popcorn out of a bowl.

 

“You know, you have to move out.”, Dongyoung said all of a sudden. His brother was startled since he thought he could live here for quite a while and the request came so sudden.

 

“What? Nooo. I thought we were brothers.”, Donghyun kind of pouted and put his head on Dongyoungs shoulder.

 

“The house administration found out that you are living here. And they have video footage of.. well.. your friend? He kind of slid down the drain pipe outside? I still don’t know h-”, the younger was interrupted when his brother grumbled.

 

“Okay. But I can still come over from time to time, right? Especially when the little one is born.”, his voice was hopeful and, if you asked Dongyoung, his brother was too good in doing aegyo. It came out way too natural to resist.

 

“Well, what do you think I’d do without you, huh? Of course you have to come over.”, Dongyoung explained and let his fingers run through his brother’s hair. It had always been a good way to calm the older down.

 

“I just thought, now that you are kind of seeing Johnny.. you know?”, Donghyun just implied that he would soon be replaced by someone else but it still made Dongyoung stiffen.

 

No reply was ever said to that. The topic alone wasn’t anything Dongyoung wanted to even think about. Just the thought of having something, or rather someone who will permanently stay with him gave him chills.

 

He pushed the bad thoughts off his brain again, keeping them for another day and another place.

 

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

 

Only a few days later, when Dongyoung left the hospital for a little break outside, he saw Johnny again. He had two cups-to-go in his hands and walked towards Dongyoung.

 

“Hey, I just wanted to go to you. Seems like fate made you come to me, huh?”, Johnny joked around and he had a bright smile on his face. When he finished talking he held out his right hand, giving Dongyoung the warm cup.

 

“Uhm.. why?”, he asked and pure confusion could be read from his face expression. Deep inside he was glad, though, because at least it warmed up his hands in the coldness of the night.

 

“Just drink it. I wanted to surprise you, you know?”, Johnny swayed from left to right in a rhythm only he could know but it was obvious that he must have been a little nervous.

 

So, out of politeness, he took a sip of what was inside. He was a little curious, too, as to what Johnny would think he likes to drink. The liquid stayed inside of his mouth for a second only until he spit it out again. He then looked up at the taller one of the two, his right brow arched up.

“It’s hot chocolate with bourbon. I just.. was that a Hollywood-style spit? Does it not taste good?”, Johnny seemed really nervous now, afraid that he did something terribly wrong. His upper teeth pressed into the soft flesh of his lower lip.

 

“No, I just can’t drink it because I’m getting a baby.. like.. at work.”, while talking Dongyoung pointed at the hospital right next to them. He was still struggling to get the alcohol off his tongue.

 

“Oh, wow. A doctor right? That’s so cool.”, he smiles at Dongyoung and then tilts his head to the right.

 

Johnny was gesturing for Dongyoung to walk along the street, just a little so the doctor wouldn’t have it far back to the hospital. It took them about a minute until they reached a street booth that sold christmas trees.

 

“If we buy one now and put him into a bucket of water, the tree can hold up to three weeks without shedding many needles. What do you say?”, Johnny asked Dongyoung and touched one of the branches.

 

Dongyoung looked at him a little lost. How could Johnny already think that far ahead? How would he know what they wanted in three weeks?

 

“Look, I.. I don’t know what you want. In three weeks you will probably not be interested in me anymore. I am only working, taking extra hours because many colleagues have taken some time off for holidays with their families. I will be cancelling our dates because of that so we will probably not see each other often. And if we do, I will immediately fall asleep. This conversation itself is a waste of time. I have problems with my hips because gravity is doing its thing, not because I am having too much sex or anything. It was all pretty exciting and thank you, I had fun but.. you will find someone else. You can go to a bar and meet another man, or even woman that is your age. You can do funny things like buying trees or.. i don’t know. But it won’t happen between us. So, yeah.. now you know. And I have to go back to work now..”, Dongyoung exclaimed and then turned around. His face expression seemed stressed, as if he was under a lot of pressure.

 

“Okay, then we won’t buy a tree!”, Johnny screamed after the fading figure but he actually didn’t know what the fuck just happened.

  


That evening when Dongyoung arrived at his floor of the apartment complex he saw a big white christmas tree in front of his door.

 

He didn’t even need to say a thing before the top half of it was lifted off the bottom and he could see Johnny, a big grin on his face: “Tadah! This is plastic, you can’t kill it.”

 

Dongyoung definitely didn’t expect this to happen but it made his heart speed up and tingles were rushing through his body. It made him happy.

 

Without another word he jumped on Johnny (and half the tree), threw his arms around his neck and pressed his lips against Johnny’s plump ones, kissing him out of the happiness he felt.

 

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

 

Donghyun was yet again heartbroken because another girl had broken up with him. This time it was a little harder but he didn’t feel like being alone.

 

After he moved out weeks ago it hadn’t been too easy for him, now living alone, sleeping alone, eating alone. It was different and not really the good kind of different.

 

So today he was just tired. He was tired of getting rejected and letting people trample all over his heart. He didn’t do anything wrong, he just wanted to be loved for once. And now the only place he could think of was the warm home of his brother.

 

It was the middle of the night when he arrived at Dongyoungs flat, casually walking inside. The younger brother was already in bed, sleeping but Donghyun knew he wouldn’t mind it if he just crawled up next to him.

 

Donghyun lifted the blanket and slid under it, cuddling up to Dongyoung. The younger one didn’t say anything when he woke up and felt the presence of someone else. He could smell his brother which is why he had been relaxed right away.

 

“I know I shouldn’t need you anymore but.. it’s just so hard right now.”, Donghyun whispered and it made him feel so little, he was ashamed of being like this. He is the bigger brother after all.

 

“It’s alright. You know I don’t mind.”, Dongyoung reassured him and just pulled him closer.

 

He was lying on his back, one arm around his brother and the other one casually on his now quite big tummy. Donghyuns hand soon followed, softly caressing the little bump that was already visible.

 

“You know you can’t hide it from him for much longer, right? You will have to tell him.. eventually.”, Donghyun remarked and just kept on drawing invisible circles over the shirt.

 

And again there was no answer. Dongyoung just didn’t want to talk about these things.

 

On his phone were about 13 unread messages and 9 missed calls from the contact named ‘Johnny’.

 

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

 

It was april already. The weather was getting warmer now again, finally, and the shops started selling cold drinks again.

 

Johnny was walking through the streets, feeling quite good and slurping on a straw that was stuck in a cup filled with americano. He passed by some shops, one with shoes, one with clothes for women only, one with Dongyoung, one w- wait. “Dongyoung?”, Johnny exclaimed and spit out his drink.

Through the window Johnny could see Dongyoung indeed, but he had a quite big tummy. It looked like he was pregnant. And, now that he looked at the surroundings as well, he saw that he was inside a baby shop.

 

Johnny stormed inside of the store. Dongyoung had probably seen him already because, even though he looked like he was shocked as well, he wasn’t surprised.

 

“What?!”, Johnny cried out. He didn’t understand the world anymore.

 

“I tried to become pregnant.. but.. yeah.. uhm.. that won’t work anyways!”, Dongyoung stuttered and tried to go around the isle that was placed next to him, filled with little plush animals and other baby things.

 

“Yeah, I think that already worked out just fine!”, he looked him up and down, making hand gestures around the tummy.

 

“I don’t know what that tone of your voice means right now but if you didn’t notice, my butt became bigger.”, Dongyoung frowned a little while talking and then took a step back towards Johnny.

 

“Of course I noticed but I thought that was because of me!”, Johnny talked loudly now, turning more frustrated by the second.

 

“Who even thinks that way?”

 

“People like me! Visionaries!”, he was almost pulling on his long hair now. What exactly went wrong?

 

“Did you not see that i became fat??”, Dongyoung now screamed at him, raising his arms a little to follow the curves of his body.

 

“Thats a catch. You’re not fat. You are beautiful, you always were beautiful and that suits you so well!!!', Johnny made gestures again, moving his hands at the body up and down.

 

“Oh rlly?”, he took a step back, looking down his body and held back a shy smile.

 

“Did you ignore me because of that?.. Oh my god.. i think I'm..”, Johnny took a deep breathe, “I am going to be a dad” He practically screamed it through the whole store.

 

“No.. No No No No-”

 

“We are getting a baby.. well not we..”, still talking loudly, Johnny turned back and forth between Dongyoung and the shelves of the shop.

 

Dumb laughing and giggling could be heard while Johnny went forward to lay his hands on both sides of the tummy, softly stroking it.

 

“Well, noo.. You wont.. It’s not..', Dongyoung still stuttered and he seriously had no idea how to explain the whole situation in a calm way.

 

“What does that mean? Am i not the father?”

 

“No I’m.. I’m just pregnant.. Just pregnant..”

 

“What does that mean 'just pregnant'?”, Johnny asked him with a confused face and he looked at Dongyoung with a little disappointment in his eyes, all while taking a step back, “You’re crazy.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said you are crazy. You didn’t tell me you were pregnant all this time and now you are kind of mad at me because i was happy about it..?”, Dongyoung nodded at that and looked at him, smiling a fake smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “Only crazy people do that.”

 

“That was the third time”, Dongyoung chuckled a little, “You.. just say it. Come on.”

 

“I don’t know.. I think it’s crazy.”, Johnny just continued without even really listening to what the other had just said.

 

“I will tell you something, alright? Basically it’s not a good idea to tell a pregnant person that he’s crazy. Do you understand what im saying?”, he laughed again, obviously fake. Then Dongyoung stared at the taller one in an intimidating way.

 

“He lost his mind.”, Johnny turned around while talking, practically telling everyone in the store what he thought was true.

 

Dongyoung then smiled for only a second more before he turned mad, totally freaking out. He grabbed a plastic kids chair and threw it to the other side. Johnny took a step back, exclaimed a faint 'Oh my god' and Dongyoung came after him, growling like an animal.

 

“Not funny”, he screamed at the other’s face and walked away with some food for newborns up to the cash register.

 

Johnny followed him and stood beside him, leaning against the edge: “who is the dad?” The look on his face was really serious this time. It was something he just had to know.

 

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know?”

 

“Stop screaming at me!”

 

“How can you not know?? Did you not ask for his name?”

 

“It was an artificial insemination with donor semen”,  Johnny sighed at that, obviously relieved, “Is that a problem for you?”

 

“Is that a problem for me? It’s your body, my god, do what you want with it. Plaster it with tattoos, I don’t care. I just think it would have been important to know that in the man i am sleeping with is a little growing human being.”

 

“Don’t say things like that, it’s disgusting!!”

 

“It’s not disgusting, Dongyoung, it’s wonderful!!!”, Johnny scream whispers at him.

 

“It’s not!”

 

“Maybe not genetically but my. boyfriend. is getting. a baby.”, he emphasised the last part of the sentence a lot, looking directly into Dongyoung’s eyes the whole time, “Love, if that thing between us shall work out, that’s one of the things I have to know.”

 

“And now? Do you want to stay home and take care of the baby?”

 

Dongyoung wanted to laugh it off as a joke until Johnny raised his arms, saying: “Did i just hit the jackpot? Yes! I want to stay home and take care of the baby. When i was eight my halloween costume was a full time dad. It means i don’t have to work anymore and i can hang out with the baby the whole day.”

 

“Stop saying baby!”

 

“Baby! Baby! Baby! Babies are awesome!!!”, he screamed it around the shop.. again.

 

Dongyoung took a deep breath, trying to calm the whole situation down:”Okay.. you and I would probably have lots of fun together.. and then, one day, we will drive on vacation together. I sit at the steering wheel and when I get tired after a while it would be horrible but I’d let you drive. And i feel totally safe. But then we have an accident..'

 

It was silent for a few seconds.

 

“You think you can control everything but that’s not how it works.. “, and now it made sense to Johnny, how he had avoided every question, every action that would say they are in a relationship.

 

“Listen.. If I had the choice with whom I want to do this, then it would be yo-..”

 

Johnny interrupted him:”You have the choice!”

 

“I'm not alone in this boat anymore.. “, Dongyoung stuttered because this whole situation was just too much to take in, too sudden to actually deeply think about everything he was saying.

 

By now it seemed like Johnny had given up on fighting, standing straight, his face expression filled with disappointment and sadness. ”Yeah…”, he took a deep breath, “Just to be sure.. I'm not the one who left you. You are the one that sent me away.'

 

And with that Johnny walked away, shoulders hanging. Dongyoung just looked after him, a little lost because in his opinion he did the absolute right thing. He couldn’t just trust someone when he was two people at once.

  


A few hours later Dongyoung was sitting in front of his sofa, the baby bed finally finished. He pushed one foot up one of the round bars because it calmed him down.

 

The whole time he looked into space, not getting Johnny’s words out of his head. His hands slowly carressed his tummy, drawing circles over the thin material of his shirt. It was that moment that made him realize just how lonely life could feel and a tear ran down his cheek.

 

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×

 

It's been three months since he last saw Johnny. He didn't know what he was doing or if he moved already, if he was eating well or if he didn't eat at all. If he still thought of him just how Dongyoung couldn't get Johnny out of his mind.

 

Today he would try to forget about it. It was his brother’s birthday and they were throwing a big party on the roof of his apartment complex.

 

Dongyoung had been dancing for hours, slowly, because hell he WAS pregnant since about 9 months and it would be complicated if he moved too abruptly or too much.

 

Apparently he did, though, because when he was on the way to the toilet his water broke. There was now a big slimy spot right under him and he didn't really know how to move or where to. His long years of studying situations like these didn't help him in any way because at that moment he just.. forgot.

 

A second later Donghyun’s best friend was behind him, softly pushing him forward:”We have to get you down to call a taxi. And then we have to get to the hospital. Come with me. Carefully.”

 

He moved to stand in front of him, holding his hand to guide him down the stairs. It was weird because now his pants were wet and stuck to his body.

 

As soon as they were downstairs Donghyun joined them. He must have seen the two of them struggling to find a taxi that would drive a man whose water broke to the hospital.

 

When it got a little riskier, the friend just threw himself on a taxi and he must know how to do these things without hurting himself because he didn't have any problem with walking or anything afterwards.

 

And, of course, his brother panicked as soon as he realized the situation. “Oh my god, we have to hurry. hurry.”, he said while pushing dy into the taxi. The pregnant man just talked about how long the first birth would take and what they would need to do. He seemed calmer now, back in his right mind.

 

They reached the hospital in time and everything went.. well, not calm but the baby was healthy and that was everything that would ever matter to Dongyoung.

 

Sadly, as a doctor himself he didn't get any profits, so he was on an uncomfortable hospital bed, his brother right next to him. The baby, it was a girl, was in between them, holding onto one of Dongyoung’s slender fingers. They both looked at her and smiled.

 

It still felt like a dream. Everything was so unbelievably peaceful and he felt like a new human being.

 

So when he heard the door open he couldn't believe who stood there either. It was Johnny.

 

“Hi”, he said and sent both of them a little wave with his hand. He seemed nervous with the way he let his hands glide over his sides downwards, shifting from one foot to another.

 

“But.. where.. how?”, Dongyoung stuttered and smiled slightly. He couldn't help it because at the moment he was just THAT happy.

 

Donghyun stood up, slowly, so the little girl wouldn't be scared.

 

“Listen.. I know you don't want me here but listen to me.. you like me. You.. You like me a lot. And I like you. And you are crazy. Thats a fact. Also, I think you are just as crazy when you aren't pregnant.. but I am allowed to say that.. because I love you. I love you.”, Johnny had a smile on his face the whole time.

 

He didn't care if Donghyun was still in the room, listening to what he said, he didn't care how much of a crazy person he sounded like because all that mattered to him right now was Dongyoung’s answer and that he wanted him to know what he thought and what he felt.

 

“I'll be back later.”, Donghyun said and smiled at the two on the bed as well as Johnny. He softly brushed his hand over his shoulder, wishing him good luck. Maybe it was even a way to tell him that it was alright, that he was welcome to the family because Dongyoung’s brother was sure of what was going to happen.

 

“Thanks for calling me.”, Johnny told him before he was gone.

 

Dongyoung was as quiet as the baby, he just looked at Johnny and smiled. He smiled so brightly, so happy and relaxed but it didn't make Johnny feel less anxious.

 

Then Dongyoung looked at the little girl in his arms. “Now.. do you want to get to know her?”, he asked and brushed his thumb over her forehead. Of course he saw how Johnny must feel, it’s as if it was written all over his face so this way he would be able to lessen his nervousness.

 

“So.. it's a girl?”, Johnny moved towards the bed and, even though he was stuttering, he thinks that he did well.

 

Dongyoung sat up when Johnny reached the side of the bed, slowly sinking into the thin mattress as soon as he let his bottom fall on it. When the baby was presented to him he slowly took her, carefully to not hurt her accidentally.

 

“This is little Melody.”, Dongyoung informed him because he should probably know her name first.

 

“Oh my god, look at that.. Happy Birthday, little one.', he whispered this time, more because he was in awe and a little star struck. He had never held such a tiny little human being so it was new for him but he believed he did his very best.

 

Dongyoung looked at Johnny. Seeing him hold his baby made him feel so much at once. It was hard to ignore the fact that he KNEW he loved this picture, this moment they shared. And he didn't want to let it go.

 

“She's beautiful.”, another whisper, another thing that made Dongyoungs heart speed up because it reminded him of the first time he said that to him. It was like he just ran a marathon but he didn't feel breathless, no.. he felt like he just found his missing puzzle piece.

 

“I think I love you, too.”, he whispered, “I mean I know.. I am sure of it. I really love you, Johnny.” It sounded strong but Johnny could hear the little wavering, he could hear that Dongyoung was crying so he looked up, right into his eyes.

 

“I mean I.. I know I could do it all alone, I am an independent man.”, he added and it sounded so not confident.

 

“For real now?”, Johnny asked and arched a brow. But even though he already felt a little lost he couldn't help but laugh.

 

“Yeah, I could.. but I don't want to. I seriously don't want to.”, his voice was stronger now, he was sure of what he was saying and if that wasn't enough to convince Johnny he pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

 

The kiss held so much meaning. It screamed 'I missed you', 'I love you' and 'I promise I will stay' all at once. Their eyes were closed and in that moment they just knew.

 

They knew they would work this out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so nice to write this. I really liked the movie and when I saw the two characters JohnDo are based on I couldn't help but think of them. Also, I changed some things and added some scenes so it's not exactly the same but I hope the people who know about the story won't be too angry with me.
> 
> I'd be really happy if you told me what you think about it and I hope it was fun for you to read it!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I made for two friends of mine. These two were a big help for me in what I should do and how I should write since this is the first time I will publish an idea that I wanted to realize myself. 
> 
> I hope many of you will like it and that you will like JohnDo a little more through that.


End file.
